The Dreaded Blank Screen

When I get overwhelmed with life, I have plenty to say but no motivation to write about it.  Some of it relates to the fact that I am a strong believer in keeping most of my life private and not for the world to read about every detail of my life.  Today, it's mostly the fact that my kids won't leave me alone long enough to do anything without interrupting a million times a minute.  So why bother?  I haven't purposely made phone calls to friends and family to catch up on "chit chat" (as my kids call it) because they won't let me finish a sentence without interrupting me or the person I'm talking to.  With that being said, I am downright overwhelmed about life in general.

Too much on my plate

This is THE worst time to ask me for favors or to volunteer for anything.  As I put it to my pastor the other day, "you know how you take a nibble and then you realize you've bitten off more than you can chew?  Well, that's me."  I started teaching Sunday school at church, which in turn automatically volunteered me to help coordinate our Vacation Bible School this summer, I'm involved in our discipleship meetings which has a very broad spectrum of all the activities we are and will be involved in.  My specific obligation to that group is to create a brochure or a flier with images and what we're all about.  

It's Girl Scout cookie time and my garage is filled with over 150 cases of cookie boxes.  My youngest daughter has the flu so I can't deliver any of those cookies for a couple days. Not only do we need to deliver a gazillion cookies but I'm the coordinator for the whole thing = extra community service projects and cookie booths.

I'm starting to panic over being the photographer for my nephew's wedding reception, in which I don't have time to panic.

I took the dog to the vet yesterday.  He has panosteitis, which is a bone disease.  Thank God it's something he'll grow out of.  Basically it's like growing pains for dogs but it's in the bones.  He's on pain meds and he's going to be fine.  It will come and go and he'll grow out of it within the next six months until he's fully grown.  This is a picture of him doing "Doggie Yoga".  He does this a lot to stretch his legs from laying around so much.  It's hard not to laugh at him while he's doing this.

....and I got hit with a hard virus on my computer and again it's taken me several days to pinpoint that stupid thing and getting rid of it.  I think it's gone... I hope it's gone.  I've gone as far as paying for a virus program because I'm sick of viruses taking up my precious time.

So, with a blank screen staring at me at the beginning of this post, I sure had a lot to say.  If you're still with me, I want to make very clear that the amount of stuff that I have on my plate, I actually LOVE doing!  Before I would dread having to go to these activities or preparing for any of them, but not this time.  I'm super excited to see the kids every Sunday morning, I'm super excited to stand outside in the cold selling more cookies and I'm super excited for the opportunities to take photographs for something (someone) real.  My plate may be full but I'm tackling each and every one of them with a happy heart.  If only my kids could jump on that happy wagon with me while I'm dragging them to everything we (they) are involved in.  I thank God that I have the energy to do all this and the motivation as well.

Latest Gluten Free attempt:

I treated myself to gluten free pizza crust.  When the instructions say to make the pizza at least 14", make the darn thing 14"!  I had a 12" pizza pan and thought, "nah, a bit of a thicker crust will be fine..."  Umm.... BAD IDEA!  It took forever to bake and it was STILL gummy in the center and outer crust.  Although I could taste the potential it would've had, I won't give up on it.  I'll just take the directions a little more serious next time.

Garrulous Gibberish 2/13/13

Two weeks since I've written....  Time is flying by for me.  I've learned that not only are my kids happier the less time I spend on the computer, the happier I am as well.  When I try to steal a moment away to myself to write, someone comes up to me and asks me to do something or to resolve a fight.  I often wonder why I can't focus on one thing at a time, probably because my brain is already focusing on too many things at once, I can't possibly add one more thing.  "No!  I'm doing something right now... you'll have to wait...."  Yes, I say that way too much these days.

So my update on my gluten free "diet" thing:  I've lost 6 pounds and my jeans are getting big on me.  I've done happy dances in restaurant bathrooms because I was so happy I didn't touch the bread, passed up dessert and left the table not feeling like a balloon expanded in my stomach.  I have energy in the afternoons and I danced in the dining room with my daughter and granddaughter today to a Hannah Montana song.  I THINK I accidentally ate a meal at a restaurant one night that must have contained wheat because before we got home, I thought I was going to die with the most horrendous stomach cramps.  Needless to say, my plan to try something with wheat in it after a month of going wheat free is down the drain.  I'm too scared because I think I'd rather die than to eat wheat.

We went ice skating with my daughter's Girl Scout troop last weekend.  We had so much fun that we want to go back again.  As I was still hanging onto the wall to get used to my balance, Marcella was already around the rink three times.  How in the world....?!?!  Ellen took a little longer to learn her balance but she caught on pretty quickly.  After a couple of hours, all three of us were in the center rink spinning and turning.

Marcella was invited to a birthday party at a trampoline place last week.  I didn't want to take our nice camera in case there were a lot of people there.  When we got there, it was a private party and there weren't as many people there as I thought there would.  I kicked myself every minute of all the fantastic photos I could've taken.  So I relied on my stupid dinky cell phone camera, but at least I got a couple pictures to share with you.  I did however get on the trampolines and got some great exercise.

It is officially cookie season for Girl Scouts and I'm the Cookie Mom.  Needless to say, that's one of my many reasons why I don't get on the computer these days.  I love being the Cookie Mom.  Yeah, I'm crazy but I do like being busy and being in charge of something adult-like.  I've added a lot more activities on the girls this year so they can earn more patches and pins so that's added to my schedule as well.  There is a contest for the scouts that if they sell 24 more boxes (or more) between now and March 1, they can get their name into a drawing to win the Build-a-Bear Thin Mint bear.  I would love for Marcella to win that bear... then again, it might be a lot less work if we just go to the store and get it for her.  So, if anyone out there who hasn't ordered cookies yet, or think you may not have ordered enough cookies, shoot me an email!

That's it for my garrulous gibberish for today.  I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week!

I "Get" It - I Totally "Get" It

My girls are at my sister's house for a slumber birthday party.  My hubby is working.  That means.... the house is all to myself!  It's quiet here and I've got so much to do, but of course I'm wasting time.  My best time to write is at night when I'm most sentimental, tired, and can process the whole day as I'm winding down.  So I wanted to write my thoughts about my evening before tomorrow begins and a whole new set of thoughts kick in.

On my way home tonight, I got to visit my hubby at the fire station, which is something I don't get to do too often anymore.  Since he moves around to all the stations in the township, he just happened to be in the not-so-nice part of town when I called.  He reminded me of the directions to get there but instructed me to stay in the car and call him so he could come out and walk me into the station.  This isn't uncommon as most of the time I don't know the code to get in the station so he has to come out and get me anyway.  But this station is different.  This is the kind of area you don't want to get out of the car anyway when you're passing through.  As I was leaving the station to go home, I noticed a list of addresses on the white board that contains messages, announcements and fire-related stuff.  There was a list of addresses with notes.  I wish I had thought to take a picture of the list but I figured it wouldn't have been allowed since they were actual addresses.  The notes after the addresses were like the following:

• No floor boards
• Stuff stacked to the ceiling on second floor
• Used syringes all over the floor
• 15 kids living there
• 10+ pit bulls
• Hoarder - 10 cats, 6 dogs and 1 goat, all dead
• Active TB
• Abandoned
• Gangland - wait for police

DetroitDecadence.wordpress.com - Makkin

These are notes for the firemen so if a fire is called for that residence, the firemen are warned of what kind of setting they will be arriving at.  The list I saw was not complete as there were way too many to list on the white board.  I couldn't help but giggle at the list, mostly at how they put the notes on the board but also a giggle of "how can anyone live like that?".  Once I was safely in my car and my hubby was in his truck and off to his rounds, I continued home and that's when all the mixed feelings flooded my brain.

• How can people live like that?
• They don't know any better, that was the way they were raised.
• They don't care about anything but that moment's moment.
• 15 kids in one small house??????  one house???  That probably didn't include all the other relatives, too.
• Sickening.

http://blogs.citypages.com - Adam Craven

Then I became angry.  Those are the types of houses my loving husband has to enter when there's a fire or a medical emergency.  My husband and the men he works with not only put their lives in danger to fight a fire, but also in other dangers such as entering a house with used syringes laying all over the floor, or active TB in the environment of the house.  This is why I have created my "perfect little bubble", the best way I know how to protect my family.  I will raise my children with manners, respect and a good education so stuff like that would not happen to my precious children.

I get it now.  I totally get why my husband comes home and gets perturbed when the house is a mess.  When there's fingerprints all over the glass door or when the girls (accidentally) write on their bedroom wall or dresser.  I totally get when my husband wants to rush off to the store and buy new clothes for the girls when one pair of their jeans gets a hole, why he gets into a cleaning frenzy when there's crumbs on the kitchen counter.  These people that my husband has to deal with while he's at work is why he works as hard as he does so that his family would never be put in a situation like that list above.

Now, will the house occasionally be a mess when my hubby gets home from work?  Sure!  Will our feet occasionally stick to the floor when I haven't gotten around to mopping it for over a week?  Sure!  Will there still be mold in the toilet because I haven't gotten around to scrubbing it out yet?  Absolutely!  But I totally and utterly get why my husband has developed an OCD on cleanliness.  I "get" it - I totally "get" it.


Dedicated to my wonderful husband, Jeff.  I love you so much!