Saturday, March 21, 2015

Being Heard

I'm sitting in Children's Hospital and I don't feel God's presence here very much. There's nothing religious here except for the chapel. The chapel is a quiet place but it makes me uncomfortable to sit there and meditate on the cross. I've never felt uncomfortable near a cross, but here I do because it's surrounded by all the other religious gods and symbols. I feel I'm betraying my Lord by meditating in front of those as well. Because I don't know those symbols or what those religions are symbolizing, I can't stop staring at them while I'm there. I've tried kneeling down in front of the cross but then I feel I'm worshiping the others too. I have a mental  block in this chapel. I ask God to be with me but I just don't feel Him there. I give up and walk out. The only way I have time with God is in the wee hours of the morning when the nurses come in for vitals and medicine. I read some devotions and hope to fall back to sleep.  I love when my devotions hit me right where I'm hurting.  I would feel encouraged and reassured that I'm not alone and God IS listening. 

On the lonely nights when I feel alone I think of all the people who have commented on my Facebook posts.  So many people are praying for my little girl, and then when I feel even lonelier, someone will tell me they put Ellen on their prayer chain at their church.  So far I've counted about five prayer chains that I know of.  Begging God to hear me is unnecessary because all I have to do is think about all the people praying for Ellen.  I know my miracle will happen. Being patient is the hardest thing to do sometimes.

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