The Other Side of the Magic

My daughter has been a Daisy in girl scouts for two years and she just had her bridging ceremony to become a brownie tonight.  It was a fabulous ceremony and she was so excited about getting a sash and a uniform.  She was practically jumping out of her skin until it was her turn.  Meanwhile, my 3 year old was getting sick while I held her in my arms.  Here fever slowly crept up and it was very difficult for me to take pictures and videos while I had a sleeping preschooler in my arms.  Thank goodness my parents were there and they were able to take the pictures I couldn't.  I didn't even get a picture of my daughter and me together.

After all was said and done, I realized that I wished I had done more for my daughter such as get her a card, flowers, a balloon, set up a little party at our house afterwards, something.  But I was so involved in getting the potluck food ready, the handmade decorations and also remembering everything else I had to take such as the camera and video camera.  My husband ended up having to work so that left more on my mind to be sure I didn't forget anything.  Regardless, everything went wonderfully but I felt bad that I wasn't able to make a bigger fuss over Marcella.  When we got home, Ellen ended up with 104 fever and throwing up.  Thank goodness she didn't throw up at the bridging ceremony!  On top of my feelings for not being able to fuss more over Marcella, I had to give most of my attention to Ellen because she was sick.

I told my mom that I have grown to not like being on "this side of the magic".  I don't like hiding Easter eggs and setting the presents under the tree anymore. I wish I could wake up and see that the Easter bunny has been here or wake up and see all the presents under the tree.  I miss that kind of "magic".  For Marcella's bridging ceremony, I was so involved in getting things ready, that I didn't think about the little special things we could've done to celebrate her success.  My mom was quick to ease my mind when she explained that this side of the "magic" is still special because all the things I do to create that "magic" for her, is helping her to build her own memories and special moments. Sparking that "magic" inside of her.  It's a different kind of "magic". 

Marcella is such a special girl.  She understood that since Ellen was sick, we couldn't do anything special afterwards and asked me if she could have a small party with all the family so (as she stood in front of the fireplace) she could stand "here" and hold her certificate up and wear her new sash and take lots of pictures.  All I could do for her now was to let her stay up late and watch a cartoon together while we snuggled on the couch.

So to all you moms (and dads) out there who work hard to make special moments for your children more special, no matter what you are able to do, just because you want to, I commend you!   When moms are up all night with a sick child and still have to go to work all the next day and still come home to keep on going, I commend you!  For those parents who looked forward to a special occasion and had to cancel at the last minute because of a sick child, I commend you!  No one ever said that parenting was easy, and those who say it is, never had children of their own.